Geek Quotes

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t
If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features
Roses are #FF0000 , Violets are #0000FF , All my base belongs to you
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Hand over the calculator, friends don’t let friends derive drunk
I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
The box said ‘Requires Windows 95 or better’. So I installed LINUX
A penny saved is 1.39 cents earned, if you consider income tax
Unix, DOS and Windows…the good, the bad and the ugly
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in
human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead
1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
Alcohol & calculus don’t mix. Never drink & derive
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer
Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button
It’s not bogus, it’s an IBM standard
Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!
The farther south you go, the more dollar stores there are
Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers
The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers
handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and
shoot all the other computers
If you want a language that tries to lock up all the sharp objects
and fire-making implements, use Pascal or Ada: the Nerf languages,
harmless fun for children of all ages, and they won’t mar the furniture
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to
build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying
to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning
LISP = Lots of Irritating Silly Parentheses
The beginning of the programmer’s wisdom is understanding the
difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program
Squash one bug, you’ll see ten new bugs popping
Everytime i time i touch my code, i give birth to ten new bugs
boast = blogging is open & amiable sharing of thoughts
We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted
If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBO
Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner
Bad or corrupt header, go get a haircut
Unrecognized input, get out of the class
Warning! Buffer overflow, close the tumbler !
WinErr 547: LPT1 not found… Use backup… PENCIL & PAPER
Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
Best file compression around: “rm *.*” = 100% compression
Hackers in hollywood movies are phenomenal. All they need to do is “c:\> hack into fbi”
BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding
I survived an NT installation
The name is Baud……James Baud
My new car runs at 56Kbps
Why doesn’t DOS ever say “EXCELLENT command or filename!”
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Cannot read data, leech the next boy’s paper? (Y/N)
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Helpdesk : Sir, you need to add 10GB space to your HD , Customer : Could you please tell where I can download that?
Windows: Just another pane in the glass
Who’s General Failure & why’s he reading my disk?
RAM disk is not an installation procedure
Shell to DOS…Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS…
The truth is out there…anybody got the URL?
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…..
E-mail returned to sender — insufficient voltage
Help! I’m modeming… and I can’t hang up!!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue
Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Mouse not attached. Please left click the ‘OK’ button to continue
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…
Press every key to continue
Helpdesk: Sir if you see the blue screen, press any key to continue. Customer : hm.. just a min.. where’s that ‘any key’..
Idiot, Go ahead, make my data!
Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so
(001) Logical Error CLINTON.SYS: Truth table missing
(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
Computers can never replace human stupidity
A typical Yahoo! inbox : Inbox(0), Junk(9855210)
(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic?
Bugs come in through open Windows
Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun
Unix is user friendly…its just selective about who its friends are
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
Bell Labs Unix — Reach out and grep someone.
To err is human…to really foul up requires the root password.
Invalid password : Please enter the correct password to (Abort / Retry / Ignore )
FUBAR - where Geeks go for a drink
I degaussed my girlfriend and I’m just not attracted to her anymore
Scandisk : Found 2 bad sectors. Please enter a new HD to continue scanning
Black holes are where God divided by zero
Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
Thank god, my baby just compiled
Yes! My code compiled, and my wife just produced the output
Windows 98 supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously
Zap! And there was the blue screen !
Please send all spam to my main address, root@localhost  
MailerD(a)emon: You just received 9133547 spam. (O)pen all, (R)ead one by one, (C)heck for more spam
A: Can you teach me how to use a computer? B: No. I just fix the machines, I don’t use them
PayPal: Your funds have been frozen for 668974 days
1-800-404 : The subscriber you are trying to call does not exist
1-800-403 : Access to that subscriber was denied
Error message: “Out of paper on drive D:”
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I’d antialias my graphics!
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
“Mr. Worf, scan that ship.” “Aye Captain. 300 dpi?”
Smith & Wesson: The Original Point And Click Interface
Shout onto a newsgroup : It echoes back flames and spam
Firewall : Intruder detected. (A)llow in (D)eactivate the firewall
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language
Warning! Perl script detected! (K)ill it , (D)eactivate it
Firewall : Do you want to place a motion detector on port 80 ?
Helpdesk: Sir, please refill your ink catridges Customer : Where can i download that?
All computers run at the same speed… with the power off
You have successfully logged in, Now press any key to log out
Sorry, the password you tried is already being used by Dorthy, please try something else.
Sorry, that username already exists. (O)verwrite it (C)ancel
Please send all flames, trolls, and complaints to /dev/toilet
Shut up, or i’ll flush you out
Cron : Enter cron command \ Now enter the number of minutes in an hour
We are experiencing system trouble — do not adjust your terminal
You have successfully hacked in, Welcome to the FBI mainframes.
I’m sorry, our software is perfect. The problem must be you
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway
Webhost livehelp: Sir you ran out of bandwidth, User: Where can I download that?
If Ruby is not and Perl is the answer, you don’t understand the question
Having soundcards is nice… having embedded sound in web pages is not
My computer was full, so I deleted everything on the right half
You have received a new mail which is 195537 hours old
Yahoo! Mail: Your email was sent successfully. The email will delivered in 4 days and 8 hours
I’m sorry for the double slash (Tim Berners-Lee in a Panel Discussion, WWW7, Brisbane, 1998)
Ah, young webmaster… java leads to shockwave. Shockwave leads to realaudio. And realaudio leads to suffering
What color do you want that database?
C++ is a write-only language, once can write programs in C++, but I can’t read any of them
As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code
earth is 98% full … please delete anyone you can
A typical yahoo chat room: “A has signed in, A has signed out, B
has signed in, B has signed out, C has signed in, C has signed out..”
When someone says “I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done,” give him a lollipop
Warning! No processor found! Press any key to continue
Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product
NT is the only OS that has caused me to beat a piece of hardware to death with my bare hands
Warning! Kernel crashed, Run for your lives !
NASA uses Windows? Oh great. If Apollo 13 went off course today the
manual would just tell them to open the airlock, flush the astronauts
out, and re-install new one
JavaScript: An authorizing language designed to make Netscape crash
How’s my programming? Call 1-800-DEV-NULL
Yes, friends and neighbors, boys and girls - my PC speaker crashed NT
root:> Sorry, you entered the wrong password, the correct password is ‘a_49qwXk’
New linux package released. Please install on /dev/null
Quake and uptime do not like each other
Unix…best if used before: Tue Jan 19 03:14:08 GMT 2038
As you well know, magic and weapons are prohibited inside the cafeteria — Final Fantasy VIII
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft…and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labo
Unix is the only virus with a command line interface
Windows 95 makes Unix look like an operating system
How are we supposed to hack your system if it’s always down!
God is real, unless declared integer
I’m tempted to buy the slashdot staff a grammar checker. What do they do for 40 hours a week?
Paypal : Please enter your credit card number to continue
It takes a million monkeys at typewriters to write Shakespeare, but only a dozen monkeys at computers to run Network Solutions
Please help - firewall burnt down - lost packet - reward $$$
If Linux were a beer, it would be shipped in open barrels so that anybody could piss in it before delivery
Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle
Perl, the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption
Norton: Incoming virus - (D)ownload and save (R)un after download
I had a dream… and there were 1’s and 0’s everywhere, and I think I saw a 2!
You sir, are an unknown USB device driver
C isn’t that hard: void (*(*f[])())() defines f as an array of
unspecified size, of pointers to functions that return pointers to
functions that return void

Lexophile - Playing with Words

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet. 

30. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 

31. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

32. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

33. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

34. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

35. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

36. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

37. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

38. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

39. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

40. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

41. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

42. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

43. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

44. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

45. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

46. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.

Interview with God - Inspirational

I dreamed I had an interview with God.
 "Come in," God said. "So, you would like to interview Me?"  
"If you have the time," I said. 
God smiled and said,
  "My time is eternity and is enough to do everything; 
what questions do you have in mind to ask me?"

"What surprises you most about mankind?" 
God answered: "That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, 
and then long to be children again.  That they lose their health to make money 
and then lose their money to restore their health.

"That by thinking anxiously about the future,  they forget the present, such
that they live neither for the present nor the future. 
That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived..."

God's hands took mine and we were silent for while and 
then I asked... "As a parent, what are some of life's lessons 
you want your children to learn?"

God replied with a smile:  "To learn that they cannot 
make anyone love them. What they can do is to let themselves be loved.  
To learn that it takes years to build trust, 
and a few seconds to destroy it.  To learn that what
is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in
their lives. To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. 
All will be judged individually on their own merits, not as a group on a
comparison basis!  To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the
most, but is one who needs the least.  To learn that it only takes a few
seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many
years to heal them.  To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness. To learn
that there are persons that love them dearly, but simply do not know how to
express or show their feelings. To learn that money can buy everything but
happiness.  To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it
totally different.  To learn that a true friend is someone who knows
everything about them...and loves them anyway.  To learn that it is not
always enough that they be forgiven by others, but that they have to forgive

I sat there for a while, enjoying the moment.  I thanked Him for his time and
for all that He has done for me and my family, and He replied, "Anytime".
Talents are best nurtured in solitude. Character is best formed in the stormy billows of the world. -Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will. - Dr. Robert Anthony

If your problem is as big as a ship, never forget that your blessings are as wide as the ocean.

Don't put your mistakes in your head because they can weigh you down. Instead, put them under your feet and make them your platform to view your horizon.

Quotes About Facebook

In Facebook, it's easier to "Like" than to "Comment".
In real life, it's easier to "Like" than to "Commit".

I wish they'd change the "Poke" into "Smile" or "Hug". I'd be glad to give out one daily!

Success Quotes

If a window of opportunity appears, don’t pull down the shade. - Tom Peters

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. - Winston Churchill

The shell must break before the bird can fly.- Tennyson

One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching. - Anonymous

Whenever you fall, pick something up. - Oswald Avery

Life is like riding a bicycle - in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving. - Albert Einstein

As you seek new opportunity, keep in mind that the sun does not usually reappear on the horizon where last seen. - Robert Brault

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching? - Dennis and Wendy Mannering

To have a great idea, have a lot of them. - Thomas Alva Edison

A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can’t get very far ’till you change it. - Anonymous

The reason angels can fly is because they take themselves lightly. -G.K. Chesterton

Life gives me lemons, and I’ll squeeze every drop of them into a cup. Because I know my God has a spoon full of sugar waiting to stir in. - Eunny Kim

The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson. - Tom Bodett

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing - that’s why we recommend it daily. - Zig Ziglar

If you are not part of the cure, then you are part of the problem.

We have two eyes and just one tongue, which means we need to look twice and talk once. We have two ears and just one month, so we need to listen more than we talk. We have two hands and one stomach, so we need to work twice as much as we eat.

Life Quotes

No one has ever won a game of chess by taking only forward moves, sometimes you have to move backward to get a better step forward. That’s life.

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing - that’s why we recommend it daily. - Zig Ziglar

If you are not part of the cure, then you are part of the problem.

Friendship Quotes

What's worse than enemies? Fake friends...everyone has one!

The grass is never greener on the other side, the grass is only greener where you water it.

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.  ~Douglas Pagels

Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.  ~Author Unknown

A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.  ~Leo Buscaglia

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.  ~Sicilian Proverb

The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend.  ~Aristotle

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out.  It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.  We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.  ~Albert Schweitzer

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.  ~Arnold H. Glasgow

The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.  ~Elbert Hubbard, The Notebook, 1927

A good friend is cheaper than therapy.  ~Author Unknown

If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do.  Think up something appropriate and do it.  ~Edgar Watson Howe

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.  ~Henry David Thoreau

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.  ~Arnold Glasow

But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows end.
~William Shakespeare

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.  ~Elisabeth Foley

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.  ~William Blake

A friend is the only person you will let into the house when you are Turning Out Drawers.  ~Pam Brown

One's friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.  ~George Santayana

A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.  ~Donna Roberts

If I had to sum up Friendship in one word, it would be Comfort.  ~Terri Guillemets

If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself alone.  A man should keep his friendships in constant repair.  ~Samuel Johnson

True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.  ~Dave Tyson Gentry

You can always tell a real friend:  when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.  ~Laurence J. Peter

Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait for the answer.  ~Author Unknown

A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.  ~Grace Pulpit

One doesn't know, till one is a bit at odds with the world, how much one's friends who believe in one rather generously, mean to one.  ~D.H. Lawrence

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.  ~C.S. Lewis

Constant use will not wear ragged the fabric of friendship.  ~Dorothy Parker

Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.  ~Virginia Woolf

There are big ships and small ships.  But the best ship of all is friendship.  ~Author Unknown

The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had.  ~Author Unknown

The language of friendship is not words but meanings.  ~Henry David Thoreau

A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half-cracked.  ~Author Unknown

Friends are kisses blown to us by angels.  ~Author Unknown

It's important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to the friendship that we are not.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

It is the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.  ~Marlene Dietrich

She is a friend of mind.  She gather me, man.  The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order.  It's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind.  ~Toni Morrison, Beloved

Friends can be said to "fall in like" with as profound a thud as romantic partners fall in love.  ~Letty Cottin Pogrebin

Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend.  ~Plautus

If instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend, that would be giving as the angels give.  ~George MacDonald

A real friend is someone who would feel loss if you jumped on a train, or in front of one.  ~Author Unknown

Silences make the real conversations between friends.  Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts.  ~Margaret Lee Runbeck, Answer Without Ceasing

Love is like the wild-rose briar;
Friendship is like the holly-tree.
The holly is dark when the rose briar blooms,
But which will bloom most constantly?
~Emily Brontë

Our most difficult task as a friend is to offer understanding when we don't understand.  ~Robert Brault,

The friend within the man is that part of him which belongs to you and opens to you a door which never, perhaps, is opened to another.  Such a friend is true, and all he says is true; and he loves you even if he hates you in other mansions of his heart.  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Wisdom of the Sands, translated from French by Stuart Gilbert

We are not enemies, but friends.  We must not be enemies.  Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.  The mystic cords of memory will swell when again touched as surely they will be by the better angels of our nature.  ~Abraham Lincoln

Yes we are [friends] and I do like to pass the day with you in serious and inconsequential chatter.  I wouldn't mind washing up beside you, dusting beside you, reading the back half of the paper while you read the front.  We are friends and I would miss you, do miss you and think of you very often.  I don't want to lose this happy space where I have found someone who is smart and easy and doesn't bother to check her diary when we arrange to meet.  ~Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body, 1992

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.  ~John Leonard

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, and he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

True friends stab you in the front.  ~Oscar Wilde

Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.  ~Rod McKuen, Looking for a Friend  (Thank you, Carolyn.)

It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help.  ~Epicurus

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.  The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.  ~Henri Nouwen

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.  ~American Proverb

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship.  ~William Blake

The tender friendships one gives up, on parting, leave their bite on the heart, but also a curious feeling of a treasure somewhere buried.  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Southern Mail, 1929, translated from French by Curtis Cate

A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart.  ~Attributed to Heather Pryor

Friendship is a sheltering tree.  ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge

We are keenly aware of the faults of our friends, but if they like us enough it doesn't matter.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.  ~Shirley Maclaine

Friendship is Love, without his wings.  ~Lord Byron, L'Amitié est l'Amour sans Ailes

But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.  Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

A true friend unbosoms freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably.  ~William Penn

But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine.  ~Thomas Jefferson

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.  ~Lois Wyse

The best time to make friends is before you need them.  ~Ethel Barrymore

I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.  ~Katherine Mansfield

A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself.  ~Frances Ward Weller

There is magic in long-distance friendships.  They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.  ~Diana Cortes

If you're alone, I'll be your shadow.  If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.  If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow.  If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile.  But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.  ~Author Unknown

A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should.  ~Author Unknown

The friend who holds your hand and says the wrong thing is made of dearer stuff than the one who stays away.  ~Barbara Kingsolver

Probably no man ever had a friend that he did not dislike a little.  ~E.W. Howe

There is one friend in the life of each of us who seems not a separate person, however dear and beloved, but an expansion, an interpretation, of one's self, the very meaning of one's soul.  ~Edith Wharton

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.  ~Robert Brault,

'Tis a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his.  ~Benjamin Franklin

The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little softer than your head.  ~Author Unknown

If it's very painful for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing it.  But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your tongue.  ~Alice Duer Miller

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.  ~Anäis Nin

Friends are relatives you make for yourself.  ~Eustache Deschamps

Many a person has held close, throughout their entire lives, two friends that always remained strange to one another, because one of them attracted by virtue of similarity, the other by difference.  ~Emil Ludwig

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Journals, 1843

Ah, how good it feels!  The hand of an old friend.  ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Mighty proud I am that I am able to have a spare bed for my friends.  ~Samuel Pepys

A man's growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hold a true friend with both your hands.  ~Nigerian Proverb

Yes'm, old friends is always best, 'less you can catch a new one that's fit to make an old one out of.  ~Sarah Orne Jewett

I lay it down as a fact that if all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world.  ~Blaise Pascal

Friendship is Love with jewels on, but without either flowers or veil.  ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them.  ~Francesco Guicciardini

The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends.  ~Gwyneth Paltrow

Friendship is one mind in two bodies.  ~Menclus

Friendship needs no words - it is solitude delivered from the anguish of loneliness.  ~Dag Hammarskjold

What is a friend?  A single soul dwelling in two bodies.  ~Aristotle

I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.  ~Thomas A. Edison

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack.  Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.  ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.  ~Plutarch

The essence of true friendship is to make allowance for another's little lapses.  ~David Storey

Do not keep on with a mockery of friendship after the substance is gone - but part, while you can part friends.  Bury the carcass of friendship:  it is not worth embalming.  ~William Hazlitt

In my friend, I find a second self.  ~Isabel Norton

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere.  Before him I may think aloud.  I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson